Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Scoop The Tabloids

Kukka-Maria, the Feline Empress and Super Sexy Feline recently went to Thailand to adopt a child. In the past, Kukka-Maria has waxed philosophical about her inability to reproduce, which was not her choice (but who knows, it could be a good thing?). She was in and out of Thailand in record time, with a lovely Thai (Siamese) baby after meeting with the heads of state.

Kukka-Maria left amidst a spate of controversy involving preferential treatment. Most people have to wait months for a child and the Empress waltzed in and wined and dined with some officials (as only she can) and suddenly she's adopting a child.

Further rumors spread when she has left the child at home with brother Brach while she galavants off to the Super Sexy, Hyper Talented Feline Convention (that hosts only her). While brother Brach is known as the more down to earth of the two, it is scandalous that so soon after adopting, Kukka goes off and struts her stuff while leaving the child with only a surrogate.

Child rights groups are up in arms, claiming that the Empress has purchased the child as if it were a house.

"I did no such thing," Kukka-Maria stated when pressed. "I am merely acting the way any good mother cat would. I'm getting away from the damn creature as soon as I can! It can eat on it's own! It washes it's own #$%^^!" It uses a litter box and COVERS for heavens sake. What else would it need me for? Now leave me alone and go pick on Madonna!"


Chortles said...

Great scoop! So timely too!


DEBRA said...


YOU rock this is so funny!!

Junior said...

Great reporting!!

The Meezers said...

Great scoop!

Patches & Mittens said...

Oh, Gemini, that would be so nice if you came over. I would love the company.


Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

WOW! yur a furry good reeporter!

Wm. said...

Ha ha ha ha!

Carmen said...

that's quite the scoop! Kukka and Madonna can form a support group. :)

Sir Sidney and Emperor Nero said...

We like your blog. You are funny.

Kukka-Maria said...

Gemini...how did you know "Minneapolis" was code for "Thailand?"

You sure scooped the tabloids! Even quoting me properly. I'm just checking in from my "conference."

I can't wait to see what the celebrity judging committee thinks of your stellar article!